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Leaving Home

My uncle who is 96 recently left his once beautiful home for over 60 years and moved into an assisted living facility where he has his own one bedroom apartment. This move was one that was at times easy, and other times it was gut wrenching. As one of the people in charge of this move, I called on everything in me to get through this. This journey is one that many women (and men) of a certain age will be responsible for as we mature, and our parents, aunts and uncles find they can no longer stay in their home.

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This process took a long time to complete with many different factors coming into consideration. I had not physically seen him for some time, but talked with regularly on the telephone.  He was forever telling me that he was doing just fine. Maybe physically he was, but for some unknown reason the state of his life was spiraling out of control.

When his brother, my uncle called to inform me that he had been taken to the hospital, but would be released in a few days I was a little concerned, but feeling okay since he could go to his home.  My cousin informed me that the house was no longer a home but something that was unsafe and unclean.

My cousins and I were not prepared for what we saw. Our once dapper, sharp dresser was thinner than usual which was not the shock, but he was disheveled, dirty and so unkept. This once proud man was sitting in this once grand house smiling his brilliant smile at my cousins and I.

Our mothers oldest brother could not live like this–we wouldn’t let it happen. The good part about this is that our uncle’s mind was as sharp as a tack.

Mentally there was nothing wrong and physically he was as fit as any 96-year-old could be. We immediately went into action. Since taking the truck keys would be hard and leaving home would be a hard sale, we went with home healthcare workers. The decision was made by everyone concerned, he even told us what time he wanted them to come each day–noon to 6.  While they were coming, we got together to find an assisted living home for him, one that he could make into his home.

This was not an easy chore, we did not need a nursing facility, we needed a place that had space, gave him independence, but still looked out for him.  The supervisor of the home healthcare workers was amazing, she gave us the name of someone and we were off.  We Uncle visiting Brookdale (1)visited three different ones, and all of us decided on the second one.  On the day that he was to make his visit to see if he like it, he was up, sharply dressed and ready.  He passed all of the assessments.  His only needed assistance was to make sure he took his 3 daily medications.  They could not believe he was 96 years of age.  He hadn’t had so many pictures taken in years–he was the man.

Even though the visit went great, there were still many hurdles to jump.  Some were more paperwork, doctor visits and more.  Moving day came, and the rain drops were the tears we all were feeling. To our surprise, he liked his new home!!

We know that there will be other obstacles that will come up, but we are so happy and pleased that our uncle, our mothers oldest brother is safe, clean, making new friends in his new home. He made us all remember “thisisyourbestyear”, and it is a blessing to have a great family that works together for the good of family. I love them all.

Brookdale Cypress Station1

 

16 Comments Post a comment
  1. Janet #

    Thank you for sharing this sad/happy story. We can all relate to this one, if not today in a very near future.

    May 26, 2016
  2. Berry, Kaye #

    Hell, now I am crying –
    Blessings –

    May 26, 2016
  3. Janet Rodriguez #

    Thank you for sharing this bitter/sweet story. All of us can relate to it, or will relate to it in the near future.

    May 26, 2016
  4. edwinaputney #

    So happy that it worked out. Two high school friends and I were just talking about this about 10 minutes ago, and were saying that once it was our grandparents that we had to see about. Then it was our parents; and now it’s us that our children must check on and care for. The years and decades have passed all too quickly.

    For those who, like you, still have parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles, count it all joy. There will be obstacles for sure, but at least you still have them and are able to take care of them or find living facilities that can.

    Edwina

    Sent via the Samsung Galaxy S™ III, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone

    May 26, 2016
    • My cousins and I thought we would not ever do this since we had lost both parents. Seeing my uncle happy, clean, making new friends and being active was our gift. Thanks for reading, and remember “thisisyourbestyear”.

      May 27, 2016
  5. Gabby Guerin #

    Wonderful story of love and family.

    May 26, 2016
    • Thanks for reading. I have the best cousins. Remember “thisisyourbestyear”.

      May 27, 2016
  6. I’m so glad you found the right place for him! 96!! Wow. My dad went into a beautiful nursing home after my mom and nurses provided care in their home for as long as possible. He passed at 89.

    May 27, 2016
    • Each step we take with our loved ones is hard, but I know that it is done with love. Thanks for reading, and remember “thisisyourbestyear”.

      May 27, 2016
  7. Ward,Sonya #

    He is blessed to have such a great family.

    May 27, 2016
  8. That is a bitter sweet story. Thank goodness you found the right place for him. I am a firm believer that being in the right place can extend their lives. They need stimulation and people around them. At 96 he has some stories to tell.

    May 29, 2016

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