Can You Do This?

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My mother was very good at teaching my sister and I about being an independent woman. She was quick to tell us that we might never marry so we needed to know how to do things for ourselves. At the age of 44 her words rang true for her when our father suddenly died. I can honestly say that my mother never missed a beat.

In time I saw her prepare her will so that my sister would be looked after if something happened to her.  I observed her negotiate to buy my first car, and believe me she was negotiating. As time went on I saw her begin to travel and let go of the fact that she was not willing to stay home and look at an empty house. I saw her sit in the window with her coffee and yes, her cigarette and just pray in all of her kindness.

I was privy to her calls to the city of Longview seeking solutions to potholes, streetlights and much more. Her determination to vote was passed on to her children. She made sure we could do just about anything, and if not at least we knew how locate the people who could.

These and other thing should be passed on to out daughters and granddaughters. I know there will be others, but here are a few things that we need to teach and possibly learn for ourselves.

  • How to check the oil and put air in your car tires–some of our sons need this too. If all else fails how enroll in roadside assistance; and in Texas be able to locate the roadside assistance number on the back of the driver’s license.
  • Take a gun class. Yes, I am serious. If for no other reason than to get over the fear of them.
  • Know your worth. Diamonds shine their brightest when they are buffed so learn to pat yourself on the back sometimes. Just remember only the best can tell real from fake.
  • Learn how to invest. Some of us need to quickly learn this. Social security and employment pensions are becoming a thing of the past. Never leave this to someone else.
  • Stand for something. Wrong is wrong and right is right. Enough said.
  • Know what to say when asked “tell me about yourself”.  You are so much more than a job title.
  • Learn how to read a roadmap. I need to do this better. What happens if there is no cell service or the phone dies. In addition learn how to get out of the garage if the power is off. You still have to go to work.
  • Learn to swim or at least wear a life vest when you are on the water for pleasure.
  • Learn to go it alone. Want to go to movies, out to eat, but no one to go with you?Don’t miss out. It is much easier to add someone, and it makes for a nice surprise.
  • Learn how to put a hem in a garment, sew on a button, use a safety-pin so nobody knows it is there.

There are so many things that we should teach our daughters and granddaughters that it is impossible to list them all. Even with all of our wisdom there are some things that we don’t know how to do. What are some things that you have taught your daughters and granddaughters?  What’s something you need to learn to do? Let’s share the knowledge.

Remember “thisisyourbestyear”. Knowledge is power, and you are never too old to learn.

There Will Be No Paper or Plastic…

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I’ve decided that there will be no paper plates or plastic ware in my house.  Yep, you heard me right.  The only thing used for eating and drinking that will be paper will be napkins, and that’s because I hate to iron.

A couple of years ago I decided to give my daughters part of their inheritance so that I could see them use it.  To my youngest, she would get my mother’s beautiful china which I can still remember the day my father gave it to her.  This was something that she had wanted forever, she was beyond excited, she was ecstatic that she could now serve special occasion meals in beautiful dishes.  I was ecstatic too because I wouldn’t be allowed to wash the china–too clumsy.  On those special days we would polish the flatware that was never used, iron the napkins, wash the china and crystal and place them on the dinning room table that only saw food on special occasions.

To my oldest, I wanted to give my china that was given to me by my father.  I remember when he started buying it. I was only a sophomore in college living with my sorority sisters, but I was excited. Visions of special dinners popped into my head.  I would set this beautiful table, and my mother and grandmother would iron the napkins. My father passed away before all the pieces were purchased, and I could never find the sugar bowl and creamer at any replacement site.  On one of my many trips to San Antonio to one of my favorite antique shops I ran across both pieces.  I was ecstatic.

Neither of the girls took me up on my offer.  The oldest one informed me that she already had a set of china which she does use some of the time (mine looks better).  If it didn’t go in the micro wave the youngest one didn’t want it. I tried the sympathy plea– “You will always have something to remember Granny Ruby by”.  It didn’t work.  I was informed they would always remember her.

What was I going to do with two sets of beautiful china, delicate crystal wine, champagne and water glasses?  The champagne classes are not fluted, they are the kind you see in the movies and they stack them. I had flatware and napkins that had nevfer seen the light of day. My husband solved the problem because he had a problem.

One day after a weekend of family as the dishwasher was humming along, he didn’t have a clean plate, and there were no paper plates.  What was he going to do? Stop the dishwasher and remove a half cleaned plate?  Go to the store and buy paper plates? No, just reach up there and get one of those china plates. From that moment on I decided there would be no paper plates or plastic ware used in my house.

That moment made me realize that I was going to use each and everything in my house.  So when you come to dinner you just might have your takeout/delivery on fancy china with paper napkins.

Remember “thisisyourbestyear”.  Everyday is special.

Information On Well Woman Exams

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Thank you Ms. Ruth Ann Hornbeck-Hatch for sharing this valuable information on free well woman exams.  If you are in need of or know a woman in need of a well woman exam, and insurance coverage is a problem, please have them call or google 211.  It will give outlets to places that do the well woman exams for free.

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Let’s spread the word to our family, friends, church members and others.  There is a way to help save the lives of women.  Remember “thisisyourbestyear”, let’s help others help themselves.

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The Exam That Can Save Your Life

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Believe it or not there are some women who never have this routine exam. It is recommended that all women over the age of 18 have an annual well woman exam. This exam should be taken so that it can possibly identify early health problems.  Usually upon completion of the yearly exam, the doctor will have you schedule the next appointment. I am screaming to the top of my lungs–Get Your Well Woman Exam!

Some women do this well woman exam around their birthday or some other significant day.  I do mine in the summer in June.

This exam will be given by your gynecologist.  The exams always include a breast exam, pap smear and pelvic exam.

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The importance of this exam lies in identifying potential early health problems. The most important tests included in an examination are the tests listed above. Some doctors consider other tests in the examination, including measurement of blood pressure, HIV testing, and other laboratory tests such as urinalysis, and testing for other sexually transmitted diseases. The procedure is important also to detect certain cancers, especially breast and cervical cancer.

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The breast exam is usually two parts.  The first part is visual.  This checks such things as color, symmetry, lean body mass and more.  It also looks for abnormalities such as shrinkage and bulges.  The breast exam then goes to palpation, which means while thepatient is lying down the doctor will use two or three fingers to go around the gland (breast) and under the arms to feel for abnormalities.  This does not take the place of the mammogram which should also be done yearly.

Another part of the well woman exam is the pelvic exam which exams the pelvic area.  It is done in three parts.

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  • The inspection of the external genitalia looks for color changes, lesions, warts and other abnormalities.
  • The bimanual exam which palpates (touches) organs that can’t be seen. With the index and middle finger the doctor checks the inside of the vagina checking the length and width–the cervix is also checked.  With the other hand, the doctor will press the stomach and check the uterus and ovaries.
  • Speculum examination is where a device called a speculum will be inserted into the vagina. The speculum is opened to widen the vagina so that the vagina and cervix can be seen.

A pap smear will be done while the speculum is in place.  The doctor will take cells from the cervix.

A breast mammogram should also be done yearly.  I do mine the same day as the well woman exam.

 

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You can also opt for the 3D mammogram which my doctor suggest that I do.  Some doctors will suggest that you also take a breast ultrasound because of family history and/or age. I have taken the ultrasound, and there was something discovered, but thankfully it turned out not to be serious.

Your well woman exam helps to keep you a well woman. Remember “thisisyourbestyear” taking this exam can save your life.

**The well woman exam and mammogram are usually covered by your health insurance.  There are several agencies that will do both for those that are uninsued.  In the North Texas area please check those listed below and others.  Please check your local areas–this exam can save your life.

 

 

 

It’s Your Birthday–Celebrate

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Sasha Obama just celebrated her 16th birthday, and she was probably counting the days until she could tell anyone who asked that she was 16.  There was probably some sort of celebration with friends and family. She may have even gotten a great gift from her parents, but everyone who knows her knew it was her birthday.  She told them weeks in advance that it was getting closer.

Most women of a certain age dread birthdays, or at least talking about the age we are as they are a reminder of the fact we are getting older. Remember as a child when someone asked you how old you were you would answer 15 and a half, and I will be 16 on June 23.  It seemed we wanted to be older.  At the age of 20 we would tell people I will be 21 in so many months. Then the dreaded 30 came, and for the most part we would own up to the age of 30, but soon after that we stopped talking about our birthday.

If we celebrated we started to insist that there be no candles on the cake except maybe one in the center because it just looked better, and besides who wanted all the germs from blowing out all of those candles.  Time seemed to speed up, and we zipped through the 40’s some of us the 50’s and beyond by just saying it was our birthday.

Some say you are to never ask a lady her age, it’s equivalent to asking a man how tall he is, and we all know how that goes. But then when we get pass a certain age, we tell our age with pride.

Is age just a number?  If it is, then why do we refuse to acknowledge our birthdays as we mature. When did you stop celebrating, was it when you turned 30, 40, 50 or beyond?  Some say that women stop celebrating because society does not take kindly to women of a certain age.  Men become more distinguished, and women become just older.  We even see it in the national news as was shown by the last presidential election.

There are some who have always celebrated their birthdays with as much gusto and excitement as they did turning Sweet 16.  They party like it’s 1999.  My sorority sister, Hazel is one of those people.  She recently held her 90th birthday party. She put up a huge sign so that you knew her age just in case you forgot.

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Maybe you don’t want a party to celebrate your birthday. Maybe you just want to sit on the patio and drink a nice cup of coffee. Celebrate in your own special way because it is your special day.

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Hazel at her 90th birthday party celebration

Happy 90th Birthday and Many More! because “thisisyourbestyear”.

 

 

 

Looking For A Great Girls Outing–Try the Byron Nelson Golf Tournament

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First of all let me give you this disclaimer before you read any further.  This will be the last year that the Byron Nelson Golf Tournament will be held at The Four Seasons Resort and Club Dallas at Las Colinas.  It will now move to Trinity Forest Golf Club in Dallas.

That being said “the last round” was an amazing girls getaway for those that love golf, like golf, kind of like golf and those that don’t know anything about golf.  There is so much  more to a golf tournament than golf.

At the beautiful Four Seasons Resort and Club Dallas at Las Colinas, maybe it was because it was the “last round” everything was done to perfection.  Even the parking was convenient.

For those that love golf, there were the top players on the PGA participating with some surprises along the way.  There was so much to do, see, eat, drink and enjoy.

Let’s get started first with the resort.  If you were fortunate enough you may have been able to snag a villa with a view of the course from the balcony.  We saw quite a few ladies and gentlemen doing just that. Some had their cocktails and food to enjoy while watching the tournament.

Just walking around was peaceful and beautiful.  The weather for the most part was very nice.  The sponsors tents were great places to stop and enjoy food, drink and great conversation while watching the action on the course. The Grey Goose tent had signature cocktails for enjoyment with cute giveaway glasses. While you sipped your cocktail there was always someone to discuss golf on every level–learning can be fun!

Of course there was the fashion to take in as there is every year at the Byron Nelson; though this year the fashions seemed to be more individualized (no set pattern).  The city of Irving had great events from pictures, to prizes.  You could go inside the AT&T booth and drive a simulator and much more. Cadillac, the official car had their newest models on display for your viewing pleasure.

There were activities in the hotel for those that wanted to relax a bit more.  There was the Well and Being Spa in the hotel. If you felt that you didn’t get enough exercise walking the course they have 4 indoor tennis courts, a massive workout facility, squash courts and more.

The Byron Nelson Golf Tournament at The Four Seasons Resort and Club Dallas in Las Colinas has something for everyone.  It made a great girls getaway. For those that don’t know a lot about golf, it is a great way to learn–it’s as easy as talking to the person next to you.  You might even enjoy it.

Remember “thisisyourbestyear”.

It’s In The Bag–Hope For Women Of Domestic Abuse

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This post was written by C. Y. Cooper

A large enthusiastic crowd was on hand for the “IT’S IN THE BAG” LUNCHEON & AUCTION held Friday, April 21, 2017, at the Ridglea Country Club in Fort Worth, Texas. The luncheon and auction benefitted the important and extraordinary work of THE LADDER ALLIANCE, a Fort Worth based organization, founded by Sharon Cox.  The mission of The Ladder Alliance is to provide women victims of domestic violence and low-income women with the necessary tools to lead self-reliant, independent and successful lives.

On hand for the luncheon and auction were not only supporters of the organization but also several graduates of The Ladder Alliance programs.  The silent auction with over 100 items included handbags, jewelry, wine, sports packages and restaurant dining.  NBC 5 news anchor Deborah Ferguson was the emcee for the luncheon.

Beside the items up for auction, a powerful, serious display entitled “In Her Shoes……” visible to everyone in attendance, clearly drove home the point regarding domestic violence in our society.  Each pair of shoes represented a woman killed in the state of Texas in 2014-2105 by someone who had been an intimate partner along with a tag bearing the name of the woman and the city where she resided.

The Ladder Alliance, an established 501 (c)(3) organization serves between 300-400 women each year.  Throughout the year two programs are offered to assist women in their climb to independence.  The programs are Basic Computer Skills Training & Professional Office Skills Training.

The Ladder Alliance is located at 1100 Hemphill Street, Suite 302, Fort Worth, TX 76104 or you can call them at 817.834.2100 for more information to assist someone. To see more about them, visit their website by clicking The Ladder Alliance.

Remember “It’s in the bag” because “thisisyourbestyear”.

Yes Virginia There Is Life After Menopause

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If only life was as simple as song lyrics.  You know if it were that easy then everyday would be great, but we all know that the process of life is not easy.  Each phase we go through has its challenges. Don’t jump to conclusions before you know the facts.

As women we tend to go through phases of life every 5 to 10 years or so it seems. Our bodies are constantly changing, and as we age things can change dramatically. There are studies out there that tell you about perimenopause (premenopause).  They explain what to expect once you get into the dreaded menopause.  It’s sort of  like telling a woman what to expect during pregnancy–no two are ever alike.

Then there are the studies that tell you what to expect while you are in menopause.  They even write television scripts about it. Remember Edith Bunker? They tend to forget to tell you again that no two women experience the same things in the same way.  Some people never know they have entered the dreaded menopause zone. They just know they are no longer having periods.  There are no hot flashes, no night sweets, no mood swings, no heart palpitations–they don’t even know they are changing.

My doctor who is male gave me advice when I talked to him about certain symptoms.  At least it was honest advice.  He said no one had ever died from menopause at least to his knowledge.  Life would get better.

Well I am here to tell you it does get better, but not the same.  Some women still experience brain fogginess, you know not remembering directions while driving, but you get there–don’t panic, it’s normal for some.  Reading and rereading is one that many women experience. It makes it hard when you are in a book club.

Weight comes from just thinking about food, and it comes in places that you never had it before.  Don’t fret exercise and a well-balanced diet still can fix this–it just takes more effort and time than before.

Had oily skin when you were a teenager and hated it, don’t worry after menopause dry skin is normal for many women.  Moisturizer becomes their best friend.  There may be a need to switch to all new cosmetics.

The subject of hair is another subject.  Depends on where the hair is or isn’t.  My best advice is to invest in a good magnifying mirror and a pair of tweezers.  Enough about hair that isn’t on the head, but on the face.

Some women even after menopause still have hot flashes.  I know for a fact insomnia can continue on.

There are prescription medications that you can take to help with the symptoms, there are even holistic medications that are available.  It’s up to you and your doctor to decide what course of action that you need to take.  Remember what is good for someone else may not be good for you. Don’t jump into what others do, we are all different.

Remember “thisisyourbestyear” and “yes, there is life after menopause”.  Now jump!  Just look before you leap because no two experiences on this journey of life are the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Put On Some Pink For A Great Cause

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It’s time to put on your pink and get ready to see some great fashion, participate in great raffles, but most of all get ready to help the women of North Texas get the medical attention they deserve.

“Puttin on the Pink”  is hosted by the Kupferle Health Board of the Texas Health Resources Foundation.  The proceeds from this fashion luncheon helps fund their mobile unit.  This mobile unit is the doctor’s office on wheels that provides much needed service to women who might otherwise not have access to healthcare.

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Sharon Crockett

This year’s event is co-chaired by Sharon Crockett and Heather Senter.  These ladies have worked hard to make sure this years event continues the legacy that the volunteers started years ago to raise awareness of the mobile unit so that all women in the North Texas area have the opportunity to get the services they need.

Sharon became involved in the Puttin on the Pink when she learned that her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer.   She soon realized that almost everyone knew someone who has been affected by some form of cancer.  Realizing that some people don’t know about the medical exam they should take, or they knew but didn’t have resources they needed to attain these services she knew she had to try and make a difference.

At the luncheon many men and women will learn about the services the mobile unit offers–these people will get the information out to many more people.  They will be able to tell that the mobile unit does:

  • Breast Cancer Screening Mammogram
  • Clinical Breast Examination
  • Cervical Cancer Screening
  • Sink Cancer Screening
  • Colon Cancer Screening
  • There is also Prostate Cancer Screening for men

This years’ Puttin on the Pink fashion luncheon will be held at the Fort Worth Convention Center on April 5, starting with a reception at 10:30 with the fashion luncheon at 11:30.

Remember “thisisyourbestyear”.  Put on your Pink for a great cause.

No More Chains–(A Documentary), You Can Succeed Against The Odds

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by Zakiya Larry

ACCLAIMED DOCUMENTARY EXPLORES WOMEN, TRAUMA AND SUCCESS

No More Chains: Succeeding Against The Odds documentary set for Dallas red carpet showing along national screening tour to help women thrive post-trauma

WHO: No More Chains: Succeeding Against The Odds, a documentary that explores trauma and healing in the lives of women, is produced by success coach and noted top-business earner, Ari Squires. The well-received film profiles eleven powerhouse women and features an impressive cast of thought-leaders including: international relationship guru Paul Carrick Brunson, the money maven Patrice C. Washington, and acclaimed writer and speaker Abiola Abrams.

WHAT: These eleven transformative stories of succeeding against the odds peel back layers of pain, fear, and shame from addictions, homelessness, parental abandonment, domestic violence and an HIV diagnosis. The goal of No More Chains: Succeeding Against The Odds is to inspire then empower audiences to release their own chains. A compilation of first-person narratives, childhood reenactments and expert interviews, the film is an extension of a book anthology by the same name, with foreword by actor and speaker Darrin Dewitt Henson and afterword by Abiola Abrams.

The film is set for a Dallas celebrity red carpet screening on Saturday, March 18th at Studio Movie Grill-Spring Valley. The event will include a panel discussion with the authors/film subjects about their stories and the process of translating them to film. Participating in the premier experience will be Darrin Dewitt Henson, Paul Carrick Brunson and more notable figures.

WHEN: Saturday, March 18, 2017 at 7:15 PM

WHERE: Studio Movie Grill – Spring Valley

13933 N. Central Expressway, Dallas, TX 75243