Friendships Lost

I always try to write while on an airplane flight because it keeps my mind calm.  I also listen to music especially gospel when going through turbulence.  On this particular flight I began to write about friendships through the years.

Line sisters of Psi Zeta Chapter of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority–members of the 12 Phases of Togetherness.

You know friendships and how they change as we live our best year.

Friends since first grade and junior high school–how many years ago was that?

I thought the process was going pretty good, and then I decided to take a break and read one of my favorite magazines–More.  While reading the latest for women of a certain age, I ran across an article written by Jacquelyn Mitchard entitled “Where Did Our Friendship Go Wrong”.  This article got me to thinking even more about friendship(s).  I will ultimately give credit where credit is due.  It is an excellent article for women who have lost a friend.   I’m not talking about death, moving away or anything like that. I ‘m talking about the feeling that occurs when the friendship just stops and no matter how hard you or the other person tries, you can’t seem to get it back.

Jacquelyn Mitchard’s article deals with what we as women of a certain age go through when a friendship dies.  I will not give away the article, but it will cause you to stop and think even if it has not happened to you.  It has not happened to me in this particular manner.

The article will make you smile, it will make you sad.  You know the feeling you had when you broke up with your one true love, but you still saw him almost every day in the hallway.

A friendship that dies is sort of like a divorce or even the death of a spouse.  You tend to have to divide friends and acquaintances.  When a divorce happens who gets what friends, who gets the church, who gets the activities that you enjoyed together (the other friends came with the activities).  When a spouse or partner dies, this couple becomes a single person and that makes all the difference in the world.  How can the friends discuss their significant other when you don’t have one.

I can’t imagine my life without certain friends, those that I see and talk to daily, and those that I see only on occasion.

We’ve been trying to climb walls since our days at East Texas State University (Texas A&M Commerce).

I can’t imagine Oprah without Gayle

Gayle and Oprah’s road trip.

or Lucy without Ethel.

Lucy and Ethel were always together.

I even thought I couldn’t imagine Jen without Evelyn (it was my guilty pleasure until last season–little too much drama for me).

Basketball wives Jen and Evelyn before Chad came into the picture.

Then again, I always thought Diana Ross and the Supremes,

Where did their love go?

Desitiny’s Child and others would always be together–not!  Almost every time I read an article on former first lady Laura Bush, she is doing something with her friends.

Former First Lady Laura bush with friends.

As we live our best year, we notice that our friendships can change and evolve.  We can have friends of different ages.  We can have our friends that we enjoy doing certain things with. It does not mean that we love our other friends any less.  I love to travel with my cousin Kaye, it does not mean that I love my other cousins any less.

Grab your coffee, tea or wine and take a look at Jacquelyn Mitchard’s  “Where Did Our Friendship Go Wrong”. Reflect on the friendships that you have lost and enjoy the ones that you have now because no matter what has happened in the past “thisisyourbestyear”.

Here is the link to this wonderful/thoughtful article:  http://www.more.com/memoir-friendship-wrong

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thisisyourbestyear

This is my best year ever, and it can be yours too. When I turned 40, I thought it was the end of life as I knew it. When I turned 50, I knew it was the end. It was the end, the end of that year--nothing more and nothing less. I've retired, gone to another career, started a business, and have kept writing. I've taken classes including glass blowing, swing dancing and so much more. I'm making each year, my best year.

One thought on “Friendships Lost

  1. That was a nice read on a “Rainy Sunday Afternoon” in N.Tx_ w/ my cup of Lady Grey Tea!I’ve often thought about that same concept.I feel fortunate to be in touch with not only childhood Female _but Male High School friends,College buddies,Sorors & other friends as well.I still believe in the written word,love pretty stationary & Calligraphy written letters_& enjoy the shared letters between some of my friends.Yes_we still use a stamp!!!! What a surprise to find a letter from a friend in the day’s mail. There are many past acquaintances I’ve been able to find via Social Media & Reconnect!..a Capital Idea,Indeed! Very thoughtful posting,thanks!

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