Friendships Lost

I always try to write while on an airplane flight because it keeps my mind calm.  I also listen to music especially gospel when going through turbulence.  On this particular flight I began to write about friendships through the years.

Line sisters of Psi Zeta Chapter of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority–members of the 12 Phases of Togetherness.

You know friendships and how they change as we live our best year.

Friends since first grade and junior high school–how many years ago was that?

I thought the process was going pretty good, and then I decided to take a break and read one of my favorite magazines–More.  While reading the latest for women of a certain age, I ran across an article written by Jacquelyn Mitchard entitled “Where Did Our Friendship Go Wrong”.  This article got me to thinking even more about friendship(s).  I will ultimately give credit where credit is due.  It is an excellent article for women who have lost a friend.   I’m not talking about death, moving away or anything like that. I ‘m talking about the feeling that occurs when the friendship just stops and no matter how hard you or the other person tries, you can’t seem to get it back.

Jacquelyn Mitchard’s article deals with what we as women of a certain age go through when a friendship dies.  I will not give away the article, but it will cause you to stop and think even if it has not happened to you.  It has not happened to me in this particular manner.

The article will make you smile, it will make you sad.  You know the feeling you had when you broke up with your one true love, but you still saw him almost every day in the hallway.

A friendship that dies is sort of like a divorce or even the death of a spouse.  You tend to have to divide friends and acquaintances.  When a divorce happens who gets what friends, who gets the church, who gets the activities that you enjoyed together (the other friends came with the activities).  When a spouse or partner dies, this couple becomes a single person and that makes all the difference in the world.  How can the friends discuss their significant other when you don’t have one.

I can’t imagine my life without certain friends, those that I see and talk to daily, and those that I see only on occasion.

We’ve been trying to climb walls since our days at East Texas State University (Texas A&M Commerce).

I can’t imagine Oprah without Gayle

Gayle and Oprah’s road trip.

or Lucy without Ethel.

Lucy and Ethel were always together.

I even thought I couldn’t imagine Jen without Evelyn (it was my guilty pleasure until last season–little too much drama for me).

Basketball wives Jen and Evelyn before Chad came into the picture.

Then again, I always thought Diana Ross and the Supremes,

Where did their love go?

Desitiny’s Child and others would always be together–not!  Almost every time I read an article on former first lady Laura Bush, she is doing something with her friends.

Former First Lady Laura bush with friends.

As we live our best year, we notice that our friendships can change and evolve.  We can have friends of different ages.  We can have our friends that we enjoy doing certain things with. It does not mean that we love our other friends any less.  I love to travel with my cousin Kaye, it does not mean that I love my other cousins any less.

Grab your coffee, tea or wine and take a look at Jacquelyn Mitchard’s  “Where Did Our Friendship Go Wrong”. Reflect on the friendships that you have lost and enjoy the ones that you have now because no matter what has happened in the past “thisisyourbestyear”.

Here is the link to this wonderful/thoughtful article:  http://www.more.com/memoir-friendship-wrong

The Girls are now Women

When the girls become women most of them should be seen a little less out in public.  They should not be let out as much as when they were younger.

You know now they move and won’t be still.  You tell them to stay put, but they won’t. You try to corral them in by tightening the strap, but somehow it still might not work.  Depending upon the size of your girls, then you may need to get a little more assistance.

When the girls were coming of age, most of the women of a certain age didn’t really think about them.  Our mother’s did though; they always wanted them to be out of sight, out of mind.

As the girls grew we discovered that they could become good friends.  They could get attention from people we didn’t even know.  They were usually perky, and they loved, little lacy outfits.  Our mother’s depending upon our age liked them in white, but we discovered  black and then all of the colors of the rainbow.

We discovered they liked to sit up high, so we purchased things that would allow them to enjoy themselves.  We also discovered that most of the time they liked to be seen.  We even saw that on television, in the movies, and in magazines the girls were every where.  But ladies, the girls have grown up and now they are women, and the women can’t do what the girls do.

Come on ladies,I’m talking about cleavage.  Yes, I know that everything that is made now shows cleavage.  Well that means you should probably pack safety pins in your purse.  As we mature things start to happen.  In fact, some of us were never perky (get real) and be honest with yourself.  Most of us do not have the confidence of Whoopi Goldberg, so we need to remember that we are no longer “girls” and neither is our cleavage.

Some of us have been surgically enhanced, but these women still need to be dressed a little differently.  A little cleavage is not a bad thing on most people, but the more you mature, the more they need to mature.

I’m not talking about looking sexy; there are many ways to look sexy without bringing the girls out to play.  Take a little time, find a look for the occasion.  Got good arms, show them off.  Got good legs, let them be seen.  Got a toned back and backside–enough said.  They will love to see you walk away.

Take a look at some of the best known women in the United States who know that the girls are now women and dress accordingly.  These ladies know and so should you “thisisyourbestyear”.  Ladies share with us ways you enhance/show off the women.  We all have things that work for us so let’s share. See you next week.

.