It Gets Easier With Age

Remember when you tried to please everyone? Remember how hard it was to say no to people especially those that you really cared about or a group you wanted to be a part of? Remember how you didn’t want to hurt their feelings when they asked a question they probably already knew the answer to?

Well guess what? As we age, it gets easier to say what is on your mind, but most importantly we now have permission to say no and not give a reason why. We can tell the reason for the no answer, but it is not a requirement, it is an option.

This goes for everyone in the family. I know what most of you are thinking–you’re thinking about the grandchildren and babysitting. Although sometimes you do have plans or you just don’t feel like it–it happens no matter how sweet and cute they are. You just want to put your feet up, watch a movie, take a nap in other words you don’t feel like it. So the answer is no.

It could be with your hubby or significant other when they say let’s go to dinner. Do they want to go to (name their favorite place), and you don’t want to eat there, just say no. When he asks where you want to go, give him suggestions that you like.

Since we are of a certain age, most of us learned to type. So at committee meetings especially if we are one of the few females in attendance they always  ask if we can take the notes for this meeting. We grudgingly do, and then we have to type them up, and now we have become the recording secretary. Next time they ask you, tell them no you can’t unless of course you like that position. I seem to remember guys in my typing class so why not let them take and type the minutes?

The first few times you say the word no to something you’ve always wanted to say no to will feel a little weird, and it will shock those that you say it to.

Sometimes the word yes can be used to your benefit. How many of us have had this question--“do you mind if I switch the channel”, and we say no. Next time say yes if you are watching something that you like.

When we finally figure out that it’s okay to say no I don’t, or yes I do mind because that’s how we feel then we must do one other thing. We must stop apologizing. It’s just how we feel, no I don’t want to do something and/or yes I do mind.

Think of yourself as a toddler. When you ask them a question, and they say no there is no explanation, no apology just on to the next question. Don’t feel bad, you will again keep the grandchildren, eat at his favorite place and probably take notes at a committee meeting, but you now know that you can stop trying to please everyone.

Start pleasing yourself and learning the art of saying “no” and “yes I do mind”–remember “thisisyourbestyear”.

You’re Invited To A Party

Here at “thisisyourbestyear” we pride ourselves on keeping our readers informed.  We know that you want to know about the important things and dates, the things that matter to you, your family, the world as a whole.  Each time we write an article we have your well-being in mind.  This important time slipped up on us, but we remembered just in time.  A celebration is in the works and you are invited.

All of us are about to do the happy dance.  On July 11, 2018 we are all invited to celebrate a birthday.  No gifts will be expected, all that is required is your attendance.  Yes, 7 Eleven is celebrating its birthday by giving away free “small” slurpees.  I wait all year for this event.  It’s the only time I have a slurpee.  My only dilemma is trying to decide what flavor I want this year.

7 Eleven is giving away more things, but I only want the slurpee.  Here is a list of the other items and dates of the giveaways To get the other free items, you must sign up for their rewards app.

  • July 12: Free 7-Select Pure water with purchase of a Bodyarmor sports drink
  • July 13: Free Big Gulp fountain drink with purchase of a share-size Snickers candy bar
  • July 14: Free 7-Select popcorn with purchase of a 20-ounce Smartwater
  • July 15: Free single-size Reese’s candy with purchase of a share-size bag of 7-Select Gummies
  • July 16: Free 20-ounce Coca-Cola with purchase of any flavor Cheez-It baked snack crackers
  • July 17: Free single-serve bag of 7-Select chips with purchase of any fresh sandwich
  • July 18: Free single-serve 7-Select tortilla chips with purchase of any 7-Select nuts

The weird thing is that I only want one, it’s kind of like me and the corny dog thing.  One is just enough until next year.

Enjoy the birthday party and your free slurpee. Let us know what flavor you get.  Remember “thisisyourbestyear”.

 

Be Selfish–Take Care Of Yourself

As women of a certain age, we were always taught to not be selfish.  We were told “don’t be selfish” when it came to our toys, but now I am telling you that it is okay to be selfish.  Women of a certain age have earned the right to want and do something just for themselves–we’re not going to hurt anyone.

Some things that you can do that will make only you happy or at least the happiest in your family.

  • Cook a meal that only you like–sit down and enjoy it.  How many times have you eaten what everyone else likes?  I can almost guarantee that someone will eat with you.
  • Hire someone to help with the housework–schedule the way it fits your budget and needs.
  • Get regular manicures and pedicures–again your schedule, your finances.
  • Take your time when placing your order at a restaurant–ask questions if you so desire.  You want what you want.
  • Say no to babysitting the grandkids every time they ask–you love them, but you have a life.
  • Watch a movie that you like while sitting in the comfy chair.
  • When they ask you to watch the television in the back so they can all watch something on the bigger tv tell them no and keep watching.
  • Go shopping and only buy for yourself.
  • While shopping don’t call and tell them about a sale because you know you will buy the item(s) and never get paid for it.
  • Sleep late or take a nap for no reason except you can.
  • Take a vacation day from work and don’t tell anyone–do what you want to do on that day.
  • Play the music in your car and in theirs that you like–they do this all the time.
  • Hide your good candy.  They don’t know the difference between Belgian Chocolate and milk chocolate.

These seem like simple things, but we as women of a certain age were taught to put others before us, and stop being selfish.  If taking care of yourself is being selfish, then I am all for it.

Remember “thisisyourbestyear”.  You’re not being selfish by making yourself happy.   Take into consideration that they would want you to be happy.

Share with us any other ways that we can be “selfish” and not hurt anyone.  We are looking forward to reading them.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

I have finally decided to stop worrying about most things.  You know I will continue to worry about my children and family.  That’s a no brainer, but everything else, I will not worry about and that includes my job.

I will let go, and let God.  I will do as the song says, “Don’t worry be happy”. I will do what needs to be done, and let it go at that. I will be like the millennials, and the whatever else the younger generation is called.  I will stop worrying.

It started a couple of years ago–I can remember it well.  Up until that time I would be a nervous wreck when something went wrong in my house.  I would talk out loud wondering how did this happen, why poor me, every time I got a nickel I had to spend a dime.  You get the picture.

Well about 7 years ago our youngest fresh out of the Coast Guard was on her way to work when she informed me there was water in the kitchen on the floor. I immediately thought my loving husband had spilled a little something.  Before I made it into the kitchen I walked in a river of water that had engulfed part of the den and office.  The river was running wild in the sunroom, dining room, kitchen and laundry area–probably in the garage (but I didn’t care about the garage).  I finally woke my husband out of a deep sleep, started to push water out, called the insurance company and waited on those that could help us dry out. Our house had taken on flood water, but being the worrier that I was, yes I had taken out flood insurance a couple of years before. While my husband continued to push out water, I got dressed and went to work.  Now back in my younger days I would have had a crying, pity party, but I had matured–nature had run its course, and I had tried to be prepared for it. I did worry that the insurance would not pay off, but it did.

When they started to repair our house they told us we had a leaking pipe behind the washer because the paint would not dry.  So me being the worrier had purchased a home warranty plan from a well-known company that I will not name (horrible company).  Inbox me and I will give you their name.  They sent plumbers who came out 3 times, and each time they informed me they had fixed the problem–paint still wouldn’t dry. So I decided to call a plumber I had used before the home warranty plan.  The man came out looked at the wall, then at my newly laid kitchen floor and informed me I had a slab leak, and he would be back the next morning to let me know where it was located.  Yes, it was under my newly laid floor, but again the contractor and I had planned, we had purchased more flooring than we needed.  As the plumber jackhammered my floor on a Saturday which meant that we would have this gigantic hole in the floor over the weekend–I didn’t worry. If you came to my house doing that time, you would just have to walk around the hole in the floor.

Big White my 2003 Dodge Durango and I had a loving relationship.  She had not been much trouble, a little bit here and there, but for the most part she ran good.  Then one day in 2016 all kind of lights came on in her and would not go away.  The mechanic informed me of the problem, and the cost–I cried when I had to let her go, but it was time.  So instead of worrying about what kind of car I was gonna get, I just knew it had to fit in my garage.  I didn’t worry about should I or shouldn’t I–it was time. I didn’t worry about it.  Car note here I come.

Both my girls have left their jobs because they were not happy, and all I could think of was you have a car note, house note and other bills.  They replied, don’t worry–be happy.  Well they didn’t really say that, but that was their attitude.  I was running around getting all worked up, and they were out having a good time.  Yes, they were seeking employment, and yes they found what they were looking for. So why was I worrying?  Because I am a woman of a certain age, but their father is a man of a certain age, and he doesn’t worry.  Go figure.

And now my refrigerator all of 7 years old is on the blink. I can remember the one my grandmother had.  I don’t ever remember it getting repaired, and I don’t remember her buying a new one. I could worry about the food that will spoil in the hot refrigerator and freezer, but I will do the best I can to save what I can. Then I will fill out the lost food form and hope for the best.

I say all of this to say I don’t have high blood pressure, and I will not get high blood pressure behind things that I cannot control. My husband gets upset at sporting events, I theorize that no one wants to lose, but somebody will. He theorizes that they can’t play, bad coaching, etc.

I will not worry, I will be happy–I will fix, replace or resolve what I can, and let go of the rest because some things are just out of my control.  It’s call life.

Remember “thisisyourbestyear”.  Don’t worry, be happy.

 

 

We Have A Winner

“thisisyourbestyear” is excited to announce that we have a winner in “The Best Dad Ever Giveaway”. Thanks to all who participated.

Amy Bland Carroll. We know that “Your Best Dad Ever” will have an amazing time at the Boardroom Salon for Men.

Thanks to all who participated, and a special thanks to the Boardroom Salon for Men.

*Amy, please email us at thisisyourbestyear@gmail.com so that we can get send you information about how to receive your prize.

Remember “thisisyourbestyear”.

Best Dad Ever Giveaway

It’s almost Father’s Day.  The time when we honor the father figures in our lives whether it is our father, uncle, grandfather, the father of our children or a male figure who stepped up–we want to give them credit for being “the best dad ever”.

This year “thisisyourbestyear” has teamed up with The Boardroom Salon For Men. The Boardroom gives men more than just a haircut; it gives them the ultimate grooming experience in an elegant country club-like atmosphere.  Complimentary beverages, a pool table, a chess board along with plush leather chairs and a great atmosphere will make the “best dad ever” in anyone’s life have a great Father’s Day to remember. We will be giving away a gift certificate for the “best dad ever” in your life.  The gift certificate will entitle the holder to a great service from the Boardroom–their Signature Cut. It’s more than just a haircut.

The Boardroom’s Signature haircut service, The Benchmark, which is valued at $60 includes:

  • Personal consultation
  • Tailored cut
  • Pressure-point facial massage
  • Precision neck shave
  • Rejuvenating paraffin hand dip
  • Energizing shampoo and conditioning
  • Scalp massage
  • Steamed towel
  • Stress relieving hand massage
  • Cleansing rinse
  • Finishing touch styling

In order to win this great gift for the “best dad ever” you must do at least 2 of the following items (the more you do, the more chances you have)

Remember “thisisyourbestyear”.  Don’t you think that you know the “best dad ever”–I do.

The winner will be announced on Monday, June 11.

Find out more about the services and locations of The Boardroom here.

 

I Went To A Garden Party

I keep singing the lyrics “I went to a garden party”.  It was set in the beautiful Garden of Eve at the home of Stephonia W. Roberts. I can honestly say I know why she named her backyard paradise the Garden of Eve–it was breathtaking.

The sign informed all guests to enter through the gate, and it seemed that you left the outside world outside when you entered.  Nature had decorated with so many plants and trees that not only shaded but served a health purpose.

Stephonia is the ower of Mrs Jacks Body Food, she is also an author and extraordinary spoken word poetess.  Her expertise in all things natural was on full display as she walked through her garden.

The atmosphere was that of ease and coolness in the hot Texas sun which had somehow given way to a cooling breeze, but Stephonia had natural cooling towels in case anyone needed them.  The seating areas were placed throughout the garden, but most of the attendees started off by walking the garden paths and discussing the many beautiful plants.

When the hors-d’oeuvres were passed, we were informed about the natural ingredients that were prepared so deliciously.  There were mocktails that were refreshing, and also cocktails that were light to the taste.  It seemed that God had cooled off the garden just for that moment.

The Garden of Eve was a wonderful way to end the day with great conversation, wonderful food, drink, and information.  But more than anything it was great to end the day in beauty and tranquility.

Remember “thisisyourbestyear”.  Create your Garden of Eve to focus on you.

 

You can find more information about Mrs Jacks Body Food at the following sites:

Facebook and Etsy–Mrs Jacks Body Food

Is It Or Isn’t It–How Do We Know?

One of my pet peeves is the word organic.  What exactly is organic?  What is the difference between Whole Foods and Wal-Mart’s organic?  The price is different so does that mean the quality is different?  What are the requirements for something to be considered organic?  Do we believe them?  I can tell you that I can tell the difference in cage-free eggs and regular eggs.  That’s about it though.  To be sure that our fruits and veggies are organic we need to plant and grow our own.

Then there is that meat thing. We all know that turkeys and chickens are not that large.  The mutant turnkey they sell us for Thanksgiving is as large as the pig the ham came from. I remember going to visit relatives once and seeing what they call a yard chicken.  I told my mom they needed to feed him, and that’s when she told me that was the size he should be.  And another thing, how many wings does a chicken have?  Where are the other parts of the chicken?  Seriously every restaurant has “wings” on the menu, but they don’t have thighs, breast or the other part of the wing on the menu.  So where are the other parts–mutant chickens with 10 wings?

The size of the chicken parts at different fast food restaurants is dramatically different.  At some, it seems you might be eating parakeets and others turkeys if you go by the size.  How is this possible that they say they are all serving chicken?

All of the different cooking oils from vegetable, olive, saffron, coconut, canola and so many more.  Which one is better, and do you need to keep one of each depending on

 

what you are cooking?  My mom used Crisco for everything, and she could cook.  In fact everyone I knew used Crisco.  Doesn’t seem that we are any healthier.  No, we never used lard so don’t go there.

I have a lot of other pet peeves when it comes to food, but you would be reading a novel.  My last one is expiration dates.  I don’t do a lot of cans or boxes, but when I do I look at the dates.  A recent report said they just put any date on the cans and boxes even the eggs and milk.  So when do I throw it out?  At one time I could tell you if an egg was good just by holding it in my hand–out of practice now.

I must admit that I do have about 5 different kinds of oil in my cabinets.  Can I tell the difference–sometimes.

cooking oil 2

When our mother’s, grandmother’s and my great-aunt Alice cooked they used Crisco in a can, but they cooked with love, and we loved it.  It was better than any 5-star restaurant Remember “thisisyourbestyear”.  There is always something new, but love makes everything taste better.

 

 

 

Honoring Our Mothers

Mother’s Day is all about memories and love. For those that are featured in this post with their moms I hope the memories are even sweeter.

thisisyourbestyear

If you were to ask just about anyone to tell who was their first love, most would say it was their mother.  Mother’s were the first faces that we gazed our eyes upon.  They were the first ones that held us close and even sang to us.  When we gave them that first smile, they were the ones that had an even bigger smile.

Over the years they have had many names, mother, mom, mama, madea and so many more.  Have you ever noticed that the biggest defensive lineman when given a chance to say a word always tells his mother hello.  It’s just something about the word “mother”.

Some of you are blessed that your mother is still with you, and some of us know the feeling that they are no longer here with us. This slide show is for all the moms, mothers, mamas, madeas and more.  Each…

View original post 528 more words

Alzheimer’s Caregivers–“Til Death Do Us Part”

It attacks the brain and is the most common type of dementia–this is Alzheimer’s. There is no age requirement when it comes to the early onset of Alzheimer’s. We tend to think of our parents and grandparents when we think of Alzheimer’s, but the youngest person diagnosed with it was only 27.

The stories below are some of the examples of what it means when one states in their wedding vow: “til death do us part”. Each one of these has taken a different approach.

Mike and Carol’s journey was one that Mike was determined to make with her at home. Over the course of 10 years, and his health failing both mentally and physically he had to make a decision. A decision that was the best for both of them. Mike made the decision that even with 24 hour a day caregivers Carol needed more. He made the decision to put her into a facility.

As some caregivers think back over time, they realize there may have been signs they may have missed. As Barry Petersen talks about his wife, he tells how she changed years earlier before she was diagnosed.

All of the caregivers vowed to always take care of their spouse. They came to the realization that taking care of them meant they must face the difficult decision to put their love one into a care facility, not only for their care but the care of themselves.

Take a look at Barry and Jan and their journey with Alzheimer’s. Jan has since passed away.

Dan and B were the “it” couple that I watched on her weekly lifestyle show. From their beautifully decorated home in Sag Harbor to her wonderful restaurant that I visited in Washington, DC. They seemed to be living the dream until….. As of the writing of this article, B. Smith still remains at her home in Sag Harbor with Dan.

One important take away from all three of these cases is that couples should talk about their wishes if they become afflicted by this disease. The caregiver should have instructions that will make his/her decision on care much easier, and with less guilt.

As we mature, we do seem to forget more which does not mean that we have Alzheimer’s. The chart below is a simple way to explains the difference.

alzheimer anddementia

Alzheimer’s came to my family with my paternal grandmother. It was something that seemed to strike out of nowhere, and life-altering decisions had to be made immediately. My grandfather had died years earlier, but I know that he would have been like the spouses above, he would take care of his wife as she had always taken care of him. Even though in the later years of his life he was in failing health, he would be determined–“til death do us part”. Some conversations are hard to have, but a necessity as life continues.

Remember “thisisyourbestyear”. Taking care of someone does not mean doing it all alone there are resources.

Try these sites and others for information on being a caregiver for someone with Alzheimer’s.

Alzheimer’s Support Programs and Information

National Institute on Aging

AARP Help and Support for Alzheimer’s Caregivers