Aging / Health / Marriage

Alzheimer’s Caregivers–“Til Death Do Us Part”

It attacks the brain and is the most common type of dementia–this is Alzheimer’s. There is no age requirement when it comes to the early onset of Alzheimer’s. We tend to think of our parents and grandparents when we think of Alzheimer’s, but the youngest person diagnosed with it was only 27.

The stories below are some of the examples of what it means when one states in their wedding vow: “til death do us part”. Each one of these has taken a different approach.

Mike and Carol’s journey was one that Mike was determined to make with her at home. Over the course of 10 years, and his health failing both mentally and physically he had to make a decision. A decision that was the best for both of them. Mike made the decision that even with 24 hour a day caregivers Carol needed more. He made the decision to put her into a facility.

As some caregivers think back over time, they realize there may have been signs they may have missed. As Barry Petersen talks about his wife, he tells how she changed years earlier before she was diagnosed.

All of the caregivers vowed to always take care of their spouse. They came to the realization that taking care of them meant they must face the difficult decision to put their love one into a care facility, not only for their care but the care of themselves.

Take a look at Barry and Jan and their journey with Alzheimer’s. Jan has since passed away.

Dan and B were the “it” couple that I watched on her weekly lifestyle show. From their beautifully decorated home in Sag Harbor to her wonderful restaurant that I visited in Washington, DC. They seemed to be living the dream until….. As of the writing of this article, B. Smith still remains at her home in Sag Harbor with Dan.

One important take away from all three of these cases is that couples should talk about their wishes if they become afflicted by this disease. The caregiver should have instructions that will make his/her decision on care much easier, and with less guilt.

As we mature, we do seem to forget more which does not mean that we have Alzheimer’s. The chart below is a simple way to explains the difference.

alzheimer anddementia

Alzheimer’s came to my family with my paternal grandmother. It was something that seemed to strike out of nowhere, and life-altering decisions had to be made immediately. My grandfather had died years earlier, but I know that he would have been like the spouses above, he would take care of his wife as she had always taken care of him. Even though in the later years of his life he was in failing health, he would be determined–“til death do us part”. Some conversations are hard to have, but a necessity as life continues.

Remember “thisisyourbestyear”. Taking care of someone does not mean doing it all alone there are resources.

Try these sites and others for information on being a caregiver for someone with Alzheimer’s.

Alzheimer’s Support Programs and Information

National Institute on Aging

AARP Help and Support for Alzheimer’s Caregivers


  • Carla V. Gardner
    April 26, 2018 at 2:25 am

    Thank you for sharing this very important information. I truly learned something while reading. I was not aware that anyone as young as 27 years of age could be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. WOW! That is why it is so important to read and learn so that we can be knowledgeable and educated and well informed. Thanks again.

    • thisisyourbestyear
      April 26, 2018 at 1:56 pm

      It is so scary. Thanks for reading. Remember “thisisyourbestyear”.

      • Carla V. Gardner
        April 26, 2018 at 2:25 pm

        Yes ma’am, that is why we must live each day at one time, and not before time. While reading your post, a thought also came to my mind, as well that l often think of. Sickness and disease of any kind does not discriminate, and no one is exempt from it. Whenever l see the babies and children on tv with cancer, it hurts my heart. I can’t even imagine the pain they feel and go through, as compared to the adults. I often think about my sister-in-law who had a stroke and 2 brain aneuryms at the age of 35, and it left her unable to walk; paralyzed on one side. She has been living in a nursing home for almost 10 years now, and as your post stated “Til Death Do Us Part”, she and my brother had only been married 3 years when she had the stroke. Not only that, they had a child who was a year old at the time, and when she had the stroke, the doctors realized that she was 2 weeks pregnant; which she and my brother were unaware. The doctors wanted my brother to abort the baby, due to the mother’s condition, and having to have multiple surgeries but my brother refused and the baby was born perfectly normal and healthy.

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