If It Works For You

Most people have read or heard all of the information on what makes a successful marriage. How to keep a husband/wife happy, the 5 or 10 or 15 steps to a happy marriage. How to fight fair. Men are from wherever and women are from some other place.

On August 4 I celebrated my 40th wedding anniversary. People asked if it felt like 40 years, did the time just fly by and other such nonsense. They also wanted to know how we made it work, was the relationship 50/50, how did having children change the dynamics of the marriage, who was the one with the last word?

There is no magic in having a successful, most of the time happy marriage. I love those people who say that every day it was almost perfect because they married their perfect mate. I personally don’t know who they married because I don’t know two perfect people.

First of all we were parented by different people. That plays a big part in the marriage. Whether we want to admit it or not, we learned from our parents–good or bad, and our parents learned from their parents and so on.

So I thought I would give you some of the myth busters that I have encountered.

  1. Never go to bed mad. Stop it! You still have to go to work because there are bills that must be paid. So go to sleep, sleep on the problem, and for the most part it may solve itself with a nights sleep. In all honesty sometimes when you sleep on something you see the other persons position.
  2. Hide some of “your” money, you never know when you might need it, and make sure you don’t let the spouse know. They know. Put it in an account with your name on it and move on.
  3. Always put your money in a joint account. You can if you want to. You know what has to be paid, and when it should be paid. Some people are not good with money. I have found that a lot of couples have separate accounts and everything works out for them.
  4. Marriage is 50/50–of what? I will leave this one alone.
  5. Marry your best friend. If I married my best friend then who am I going to have to vent my frustrations about him with? My best friend has known me since second grade.
  6. Happy couples never disagree. Who wants to be with someone who thinks exactly like they do?
  7. You should share the same interest and do everything together. We don’t even like the same movies. I’m a happy movie fan, and he’s a kill 15 people in the first five minutes fan. We compromise, well at least I compromise and go with him. He suggest that I go with my best friend to see my type of movies.
  8. You complete each other. If it takes another person to complete you, then you will never be complete. You are your own person. That’s what drew them to you in the first place.
  9. Never sleep in separate beds/bedrooms. My paternal grandparents never slept in the same room, and they were married over 60 years–they seemed very happy. They could see each other from their rooms.  I know some people who sleep in separate rooms because one snores and keeps the other one up. One suggestion is to purchase an adjustable bed–it helps if snoring is a concern.

What makes a successful marriage? I wish I knew. I can tell you that it is always a work in progress. The one thing that is a constant with us is that no matter what, prayers are said before we close our eyes and when we open them in the morning. We truly believe that prayer helps everything. He will never be a cat person, and dogs are growing on me.

Remember “thisisyourbestyear”. If it works for you…….

The Doctor Brings Her Prescription Home

Dentist, businesswoman, humorist, loving mom and grandmother, best-selling author and Fort Worth native, Dr. Moe Anderson will come home to Fort Worth to share her newest book as she begins her book signing tour.

Dr. Mo AndersonAs a woman of a certain age, Dr. Moe Anderson has written a book for “every” woman who wants to achieve more fulfilling relationships in all aspects of her life.  Her book  Success Is A Side Effect: Leadership, Relationships and Selective Amnesia is a conversation for women on how to find their happiness and boost their own self-worth.

Dr. Moe Anderson has put out her shingle and is awaiting patients.  You can meet the doctor for a personal consultation on Saturday, October 25 from 4 to 6 pm at Marie Antoinette Parfumerie and Spa located at 101 W. 2nd St. in Fort Worth, TX 76102.

Dr. Moe Anderson knows “thisis(her)yourbestyear”, and so should you.

It’s Never Too Late–Jump

The kids are grown, the hubby is starting another chapter in his life and seems to be enjoying it.  You seem to be in the same old rut.  You are still talking to the same people who kept you from reaching your dreams before–Woulda, Coulda and Shoulda.  It’s time to jump.  Jump into that painting career, that writing career, that teaching career, heck even that golfing career and more. It’s time to find other friends.

skydivingWho knows when the parachute will open, but it will.  Let’s all jump and maybe we can make one of those cool designs in the sky like sky divers do while we wait for our parachute to open. Where and when your parachute will open is different for everyone.  Your parachute may open with you donating your paintings to someone, a showing at the local church or maybe a museum.  Success is different for everyone, and as we mature success for us takes on a different meaning.  As women of a certain age Woulda, Shoulda and Coulda are no longer our friends.  We are preparing to jump so that we can make friends with Did, Done and Will.

Remember “thisisyourbestyear”, now Jump!