Rest–It Does A Body Good

You get that phone call and the voice on the phone ask what you will be doing later on. They seem confused when you say nothing. They are even more confused when they ask if you would like to go with them to their favorite restaurant, the movies, a concert–you get the picture, and you say no.

They want to know what you will be doing, and you tell them nothing. Nothing at all. You want to stay around your house in your pajamas and do nothing. You want to rest. You want to be left alone for a while.

Rest is something that most women of a certain age have to learn how to do. Women of a certain age can find something to do, something to fix, somewhere to go when others are struggling to do anything.

Now I’m not talking about that awful thing called a power nap. Which never gave me any power–it just made me want to sleep more. Meaningful rest is different for different people.

It could be:

  • Reading a book
  • Listening to music (that no one else in your house likes)
  • Wrapping up in a blanket and laying on the couch
  • Enjoying a glass or two of wine
  • Enjoying a cup or two of coffee
  • Just sitting and meditating
  • Just sitting
  • Sleeping

Meaningful rest is when we can rejuvenate our minds and bodies. Meaningful rest goes by many names such as self-care, self-love, self-compassion and more.

As our bodies and brains mature it takes longer to reenergize, heal and rejuvenate. We have to learn to turn the outside and inside world off.

Some of us have to go away to truly get meaningful rest, but with the state of travel now the rest will be lost because of transportation issues.

Meaningful rest is like a battery, you must leave it plugged up so that it can recharge fully. It can be used with only a little power, but it will soon cut off again. The same holds true for all of us.

Every so often “do nothing” just for you. You will feel better, look better and be better. Sometimes you just need to stop and smell the flowers. Remember “thisisyourbestyear”.

*Yep, I’m a cat person.

Things They Don’t Tell You About Growing Up

Remember when you were growing up, and at each step of the way there was someone there to give you guidance on what would happen to you as you aged. There was someone who would answer questions before you asked them. How to shave your legs, underarms and more.

It seems as time goes on, you have to figure out things for yourself. There are things that you never thought about that are happening to you as you mature (age sounds so old).

No one told you that a pair of tweezers would become a beauty necessity. One that you have to have multiple pairs of. One in each bathroom at home, and especially one in your carry on if you can get it past TSA, or at least one in your checked baggage. The hair on your head may start to thin, it just grows somewhere else–your face.

We can all remember when we wondered what the hell a lip wax was–well now you know. It’s not so much about shaving your legs as it is keeping hair off of your face.

No one told you that you would return to your childhood and remember that statement that your mom uttered many times when she would ask you if you had to go to the bathroom–“just go and try”. As you mature, it seems like you decide to check and see if you do have to go all the time. It’s better to be safe than sorry. There is no drinking soda or even water while traveling–especially on planes (bathroom is too little).

There are so many things that they forgot to tell us as we mature, but it’s okay, we were always quick learners. Share with us some of the things you’ve learned on this journey of maturing. You can now color coordinate your tweezers just remember “thisisyourbestyear”.

What I Gave Up For Lent

Yep, I’m fasting–not eating meat from Monday through Friday, and only a small amount on Saturday and Sunday. You know for Lent you are asked to give up something, and most people give up some form of food. Does it bother me, not really, but kind. You know what I mean when you give up something then you tend to want it even more. I even went to the world famous Primanti Bros. in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania with their huge sandwiches, and ate a green salad. Who knew they put French fries on their salad and name it a Pittsburgh salad–there is justice in the world.

Our visit to the world famous Primanti Bros
in the Strip District.

I not only gave up some form of food I decided to give up something else. Something that I have been talking about for years. I decided to give up self-doubt and second guessing myself. Even as a woman of a certain age I still have self-doubt and continue to second guess myself.

Not eating meat has led to some changes in my diet and in my overall health. Has the cutting back on the consumption of meat (in this case it does include fish and poultry) caused me to have weight loss–no, but I haven’t gained any either. I’m still maintaining.

But the elimination of self-doubt and second guessing has made a major difference in my life and attitude. It’s a freeing feeling, one that is hard to explain. It’s a good feeling.

Some people have given up shopping, eating sweets, eating fried foods, eating carbs–food, food, food. This guy told me he was going to give up exercising. The problem being he doesn’t exercise. Years ago a minister said maybe we should give up something other than food–something like maybe gossip so I tried giving up self-doubt.

Will I ever have self-doubt again? I’m sure I will, but it will quickly disappear because I’ve learned to control it. Will I ever eat meat again on Monday through Friday–you betcha. But I really don’t miss it.

As women of a certain age, we need to be in control of our lives to make them better. What are you giving up to make your life better? By the way in addition to giving something up, you are to pray/meditate more. Maybe that’s the reason I can conquer self-doubt and second guessing myself.

Remember “thisisyourbestyear”. Instead of saying what’s the worst that could happen, ask yourself what’s the best that could happen–then make it happen.

The Scars Of Breast Cancer Are Not Pretty In Pink

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and everyone will be wearing pink in the form of ribbons, shirts, tee shirts and more.  What we see doing this awareness month is everyone being “pretty in pink”.

We have all known someone who has been affected by this horrific disease, or we may be that person. Most survivors carry scars from their treatments to defeat breast cancer.  Some of the scars are physical, but some are mental and not only affect them, but their loved ones too.  There are those women and men who carry both types of scars. Breast cancer is an equal opportunity disease, it does not discriminate when it comes to who is affected by it.

Sometimes the chemo may cause the hair to fall out, it can even affect the color of ones skin tone.  The scars of mastectomies may be covered, but they are there nonetheless.  Some survivors have lymphedema in their arms after the mastectomies.

Mammograms do not catch every type of breast cancer, but they do aid in the detection of many.  This imaging can be expensive if you do not have health insurance.  There are places in every community that offer free or low cost services.  Below is a list of  some of the ones in Tarrant County and the surrounding counties in Texas.  Please share with us those in your area so that everyone can benefit from these services.

Remember “thisisyourbestyear”.  Breast Cancer Awareness Month is about more than being “pretty in pink”.  It’s about being informed and finding a cure.

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It Gets Easier With Age

Remember when you tried to please everyone? Remember how hard it was to say no to people especially those that you really cared about or a group you wanted to be a part of? Remember how you didn’t want to hurt their feelings when they asked a question they probably already knew the answer to?

Well guess what? As we age, it gets easier to say what is on your mind, but most importantly we now have permission to say no and not give a reason why. We can tell the reason for the no answer, but it is not a requirement, it is an option.

This goes for everyone in the family. I know what most of you are thinking–you’re thinking about the grandchildren and babysitting. Although sometimes you do have plans or you just don’t feel like it–it happens no matter how sweet and cute they are. You just want to put your feet up, watch a movie, take a nap in other words you don’t feel like it. So the answer is no.

It could be with your hubby or significant other when they say let’s go to dinner. Do they want to go to (name their favorite place), and you don’t want to eat there, just say no. When he asks where you want to go, give him suggestions that you like.

Since we are of a certain age, most of us learned to type. So at committee meetings especially if we are one of the few females in attendance they always  ask if we can take the notes for this meeting. We grudgingly do, and then we have to type them up, and now we have become the recording secretary. Next time they ask you, tell them no you can’t unless of course you like that position. I seem to remember guys in my typing class so why not let them take and type the minutes?

The first few times you say the word no to something you’ve always wanted to say no to will feel a little weird, and it will shock those that you say it to.

Sometimes the word yes can be used to your benefit. How many of us have had this question--“do you mind if I switch the channel”, and we say no. Next time say yes if you are watching something that you like.

When we finally figure out that it’s okay to say no I don’t, or yes I do mind because that’s how we feel then we must do one other thing. We must stop apologizing. It’s just how we feel, no I don’t want to do something and/or yes I do mind.

Think of yourself as a toddler. When you ask them a question, and they say no there is no explanation, no apology just on to the next question. Don’t feel bad, you will again keep the grandchildren, eat at his favorite place and probably take notes at a committee meeting, but you now know that you can stop trying to please everyone.

Start pleasing yourself and learning the art of saying “no” and “yes I do mind”–remember “thisisyourbestyear”.

Support The Movement–Victory Over Violence

Just by walking and/or running you can assist the Women’s Center win their battle with sexual assault and child sexual abuse.*  You can participate in their 22nd Annual Victory Over Violence (VOV) Walk/Run on Saturday, April 14, 2018 at the Duck Pond at Trinity Park.

 

Public awareness of sexual assault has increased with the advent of the #MeToo and #TimesUp campaigns.  Rape Crisis centers across the nation have seen an increase in the reporting of sexual assault, harassment and abuse. The Women’s Center has itself seen over a 13 % increase in hospital accompaniments during forensic rape exams from 2016 to 2017.  Year to date, they have seen a 16% increase year to date compared to the same time period in the year 2017.

Many people participate in the VOV Walk/Run to acknowledge and remember those whose lives have been affected by sexual assault or intimate partner violence.  It is their way of giving back.

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To participate, volunteer or learn more about the Women’s Center, please click The Women’s Center Victory Over Violence Walk/Run.  The 1K Fun Run will begin at 8 am with the 5K Walk/Run starting at 8:30 am.  This years emcee is Courtney Gilmore, reporter at NBC DFW.

The proceeds from the Walk/Run are used to support The Play it Safe!® program.  This program has been designed for children Pre-K through high school and uses materials in ways they can best learn and respond.

Remember, “thisisyourbestyear”.  Take a walk or run and help the Women’s Center and all that are affected claim Victory Over Violence.

*We incorrectly reported that this run was focused on stomping out domestic violence.  While it can be a part of sexual assault there are many other organizations that specifically address domestic violence.

 

Depression And Suicide In Women

Recently I was invited to attend a luncheon hosted by the Jordan Elizabeth Harris Foundation. The foundation was started by the parents of Jordan Elizabeth Harris, a beautiful young lady who during the last few months of her life suffered from severe depression, and eventually committed suicide.

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Hearing Jordan’s story made me think of how a young woman who was outgoing, fun and yes beautiful with a loving family could end her life.  While researching information on depression and suicide, I came across a fact that stopped me in my tracks.

The largest increases in depression/suicide are in young women and women of a certain age.  Men traditionally die from suicide more than women, but women have been catching up with them.  Middle-aged women who are between 45 and 69 have had the highest suicide rates in the last couple of years.

Some of the reasons for this increase are:

  • Age-related illness
  • Treatable mental health condition
  • Reliance on pain relief and sleeping drugs
  • Middle-aged women are more aware of their mortality
  • Disappointed and disillusioned–feel that it is too late for happiness
  • Loneliness
  • Empty Nest Syndrome

As we enter the holiday season, it has been reported that depression rises among women of a certain age. Is there anything that we can do to prevent depression/suicide?  While researching I found that some people lived daily with those who suffered from depression and/or committed suicide, and they saw no outward change.  There were those that saw the change, but we unable to get them the needed assistance.

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The Jordan Elizabeth Harris Foundation mission statement states “to eradicate suicide by funding depression research, creating awareness through education, erasing the stigma, and providing hope to those who are struggling in silence”.

The Jordan Elizabeth Harris Foundation along with others including the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is seeking to lower suicide rates.  These efforts include educating doctors especially primary care doctors so that they may be better able to identify people who are at risk for suicide.

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As I sat at the luncheon I thought of the people who I had known in my lifetime that had taken their own lives.  There were two who had an illness that would eventually end their lives and one that no one could ever tell me the reason why.

It’s getting close to Christmas and New Year’s which brings on a time of reflection.  Let’s take the time to visit, call, text, facetime–let’s stay connected–we may be able to spot changes.

To find out more about depression and suicide prevention take a look at The Jordan Elizabeth Harris Foundation.

Remember “thisisyourbestyear”, take the time to connect with others–it can only help.

 

At The Texas Conference For Women–Women Rock

It is always great to be in the presence of women, especially smart women.  The Texas Conference for Women has so much to see, hear and do that it is hard to decide which way to go. That is why you see me rushing almost running in the halls of the Austin Convention Center with my two bags, comfortable shoes, and phone. I was off to races.

Texas Conference 2 Photo by Getty

I was able to snag two great interviews with two amazing women.  My first interview came as a surprise.  We just struck up a conversation, and I knew women would love to know about her company “iFundWomen”.  Below is the interview that I did with the CEO and founder of “iFundWomen”, Ms. Karen Cahn. For women who are looking for ways to fund their startup, she is the person to know.

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My second interview was with the Emmy award winner, Ms. Gaby Natale.  She is the host of the Emmy award-winning show Super Latina, and now the author of the book El Circulo Virtuoso.  Her story is one that a lot of people can identify with. She is inspirational.  My interview with Gaby is below.

Both women are successful entrepreneurs who have found their passions and turned them into their careers.  As each would tell you it has been a journey that has taken some unexpected turns.  They epitomize the women that attended and participated in the Texas Conference for Women.  This year there were 7,500 women in attendance from all over the United States.

Each of the women had their own schedule to adhere to and knew which sessions they wanted to attend and why.  All of us were able to hear the three keynote speakers, Ms. Anita Hill, Ms. Sheryl Sandberg, and Ms. Viola Davis.  Their presentations were informative and more.  You can see some of Ms. Anita Hill’s talInstagramFacebook Page–thisisyourbestyear, Instagram–thisisyourbestyear and Twitter–@mariciajohns.

If you have never attended this conference, you should think about it for next year.  There is something for everyone from, pitching your product to QVC, working on your Linkedin Page, coping with grief, fitness and much more.

This is one of the highlights of my year, seeing and hearing the speakers and meeting up with other bloggers, photographers, and other media again.  Hope you will take advantage of this great gathering of women.  Remember “thisisyourbestyear”.

To find out more about how to fund your business go to the “iFundWomen” website.

www.ifundwomen.com

If you would like to know about Gaby Natale, and how to contact her for speaking engagements, book signings and more please visit her website.

www.gabynatale.com

Join me on Instagram!

We’re on Instagram as @thisisyourbestyear. Install the app to follow my photos and videos. https://instagram.com/download/?r=380485317

You can also follow us on Facebook–thisisyourbestyear, Twitter–@mariciajohns and of course our website–www.thisisyourbestyear.com.

          Remember “thisisyourbestyear”.

Information On Well Woman Exams

Thank you Ms. Ruth Ann Hornbeck-Hatch for sharing this valuable information on free well woman exams.  If you are in need of or know a woman in need of a well woman exam, and insurance coverage is a problem, please have them call or google 211.  It will give outlets to places that do the well woman exams for free.

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Let’s spread the word to our family, friends, church members and others.  There is a way to help save the lives of women.  Remember “thisisyourbestyear”, let’s help others help themselves.

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