We Are Not Our Hair–It Changes Too

As a little girl growing up in East Texas I loved my neighbor’s hair. Miss Adell had hair that went almost to her waist.  I called it water wavy hair.  It was hair that harsh chemicals and heat never touched.  To get a flip or something special she would put those famed pink rollers in it.

Even as she grayed her hair to me was her crown and glory.  After a bout with cancer with chemo treatments, her hair came out.  I never saw her during that time, but I did see her when it started to come back, and it came back straight. It was still beautiful and was getting long again, but it was straight.  It was then I realized something important.

Her personality had not changed, she was still Miss Adell, still just as beautiful as ever. She was not her hair, she was the neighbor that I loved–hair or no hair, straight or wavy.

I met the beautiful Paulette Leaphart on Facebook.  I saw this beautiful bald woman who had this megawatt smile that could light up any room.  At the time she was fighting breast cancer. After seeing more beautiful pictures of her with and without hair, wearing alternative hair, caps, hats and all that is in between I knew she was not her hair–she was Paulette.  She always knew she was her own beautiful woman–she was a fighter, in fact, she was a champion.

Years ago I met a lady who always wore alternative hair–she suffered from alopecia areata. She would change her look as quickly as she could.  Then one day she decided that she was not her hair, and off came the alternative hair. When the wigs came off it seemed that the smile grew brighter, and so much more.  She knew she was not her hair. Her hair has started to grow back, but she knows who she is with or without it.

As we mature and hormones go wacky our hair changes.  It can become thinner, drier, brittle and yes it also turns gray.

While watching the movie “Black Panther”.  I saw this beautiful woman with no hair. She was strong, she was confident, she was fit, she was fine, she was everything–she was not her hair.  One of the best moments is when she is so uncomfortable with her alternative hair.

As I write this I am in the process of trying to decide what I want to do with my hair. Just like a lot of women of a certain age, it is a work in progress.  For almost a year I have not put a relaxer on it.  Color has not been on it for about two years.  I have finally figured out “I am not my hair”.

As with everything else our hair changes.  Remember “thisisyourbestyear”.  We are not our hair.

 

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          Remember “thisisyourbestyear”.

Yes Virginia There Is Life After Menopause

If only life was as simple as song lyrics.  You know if it were that easy then everyday would be great, but we all know that the process of life is not easy.  Each phase we go through has its challenges. Don’t jump to conclusions before you know the facts.

As women we tend to go through phases of life every 5 to 10 years or so it seems. Our bodies are constantly changing, and as we age things can change dramatically. There are studies out there that tell you about perimenopause (premenopause).  They explain what to expect once you get into the dreaded menopause.  It’s sort of  like telling a woman what to expect during pregnancy–no two are ever alike.

Then there are the studies that tell you what to expect while you are in menopause.  They even write television scripts about it. Remember Edith Bunker? They tend to forget to tell you again that no two women experience the same things in the same way.  Some people never know they have entered the dreaded menopause zone. They just know they are no longer having periods.  There are no hot flashes, no night sweets, no mood swings, no heart palpitations–they don’t even know they are changing.

My doctor who is male gave me advice when I talked to him about certain symptoms.  At least it was honest advice.  He said no one had ever died from menopause at least to his knowledge.  Life would get better.

Well I am here to tell you it does get better, but not the same.  Some women still experience brain fogginess, you know not remembering directions while driving, but you get there–don’t panic, it’s normal for some.  Reading and rereading is one that many women experience. It makes it hard when you are in a book club.

Weight comes from just thinking about food, and it comes in places that you never had it before.  Don’t fret exercise and a well-balanced diet still can fix this–it just takes more effort and time than before.

Had oily skin when you were a teenager and hated it, don’t worry after menopause dry skin is normal for many women.  Moisturizer becomes their best friend.  There may be a need to switch to all new cosmetics.

The subject of hair is another subject.  Depends on where the hair is or isn’t.  My best advice is to invest in a good magnifying mirror and a pair of tweezers.  Enough about hair that isn’t on the head, but on the face.

Some women even after menopause still have hot flashes.  I know for a fact insomnia can continue on.

There are prescription medications that you can take to help with the symptoms, there are even holistic medications that are available.  It’s up to you and your doctor to decide what course of action that you need to take.  Remember what is good for someone else may not be good for you. Don’t jump into what others do, we are all different.

Remember “thisisyourbestyear” and “yes, there is life after menopause”.  Now jump!  Just look before you leap because no two experiences on this journey of life are the same.